Remembering
by Foxy Nighthawk
Summary: Minerva centric story. Minerva/OC. F7F relationship, you have been warned. Written before the final HP book, so spoilers up until book 6. Minerva looks back, remembering her life, love and losses. I'm bad at summaries, but hope you'll read anyway. Thanks.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, except for Victoria Mercer, but if you like her feel free to use her :-D Harry Potter and his universe belongs entirely to the fantastic JK Rowling.

I am not English, so unfortunately I sometimes confuse American and British spelling and words, I apologize for that in advance.

A/N: This is my first Harry Potter story, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway :-D This is Minerva's story as I imagine it and I hope you'll like it as well. I hadn't read the final book, when I started writing this, so I may be wrong on some things, but I like it too much to change anything. There are two different endings to this story, in some ways they are similar, but in others they aren't. I can't decide which is best, so I will post both and then maybe you can leave me a review and let me know which one you like best. Thanks for reading.

- Foxy Nighthawk.

**Remembering**

**Chapter One**

Minerva McGonagall sat alone in the darkness of her chambers, for once she had indulged in the luxury of a soft and comfortable armchair. The funeral was over and she had fulfilled her new assignment as headmistress perfectly. She had made sure to distract Rufus Scrimgeour from Grawp long enough for Hagrid to get his giant brother back to the forbidden forest; she smiled a little at the thought of Grawp – Hagrid sure knew how to pick them. She had made sure that Peeves hadn't played any pranks on the prominent guests who were staying at the castle for the night; she still wasn't sure how she had managed that feat. And still she had managed, with help from her colleagues, to make sure that the funeral had been in the spirit of Albus Dumbledore.

Albus Dumbledore. The greatest wizard who'd ever lived and she'd just been to his funeral. She blinked away the tears threatening to spill. Albus had been so much more than the greatest wizard in the world to her. He had been the one to inspire her to become a teacher. He had given her the love for transfiguration. And he had become her loyal friend, the one who had been there when she had gone through the best periods of her life and through the worst – and now he was gone. She stared into the fire burning lively in the fireplace and remembered the first time she, as an adult, had met the quirky, gentle and wise person that was Albus Dumbledore.

_It was a warm __summer day when the 27 year old Minerva McGonagall had arrived in Hogsmeade on the Knight bus. It had been a stomach wrenching trip and she had felt a little green around the gills when she finally had her feet planted on solid ground again. She had enjoyed being back in Hogsmeade, she remembered the fun trips she'd had when she had been a student at Hogwarts herself. Looking around she had taken in the atmosphere and nodded to a few witches and wizards who had recognized her. She was early for her meeting with Headmaster Dumbledore, being early for appointments was something she had always made a point of since she herself hated people being late. She picked up her bag and walked briskly towards The Three Broomsticks and absentmindedly wondered if Mr. Stilkpilk was still managing it or if somebody else had taken over from the elderly wizard. Soon she arrived at her destination and went inside, squinting to adjust her eyes from the bright light outside she looked around the room. She didn't see Dumbledore but she immediately recognized the big man sitting at a table by himself drinking from what looked like a big bucket. She made her way over to him, while nodding politely to a few people she vaguely recognized. Stopping at the end of the table where he was sitting she put down her bag and greeted him._

"_Hello Hagrid." She said with a smile, unlike a lot of people she genuinely liked the Hogwarts Groundskeeper. "Do you mind if I join you?" She asked._

"_Why, I'll say…" Hagrid said looking up from his bucket. "If it aint Minerva McGonagall, the best transfiguration student Hogwarts has seen since Albus Dumbledore himself." He pointed to the chair opposite him and then yelled out towards the bar. "Oi, Rosmerta we need a glass of firewhisky over here!"_

"_No, no!" Minerva stopped him. "I have a job interview with Headmaster Dumbledore in a little while and I'd better keep sober for it."_

"_Make that a butterbeer instead, Rosmerta." Hagrid bellowed to the busty woman at the bar, who nodded to him._

"_How have you been, Hagrid?" Minerva asked._

"_Been keeping busy, been keeping busy, lots of things to take care of around the castle." Hagrid smiled and took a swig of his drink. "And with a great wizard like Albus Dumbledore as the new Headmaster things will be better than ever before. A great man he is, Albus Dumbledore, a great man."_

"_That he is." McGonagall agreed nodding. "That he is."_

"_Thank you, Rosmerta." Hagrid paid for the butterbeer and then held up his own drink in a toast to Minerva. "For good luck on your interview." He said before drinking._

"_Thank you, Hagrid." She smiled softly before taking a sip of her drink._

"_Ah, Professor__ McGonagall," Dumbledore appeared at their table, "you are, as I expected, early."_

"_Headmaster Dumbledore," she rose from her chair and extended her hand, "it is good to see you again."_

"_And you." Dumbledore shook her hand and tipped his head slightly. "Shall we?" He gestured towards the stairs leading up to the rooms on the next floor. "I have taken the liberty to rent a room for the interview, so we can talk in private."_

"_Yes." She nodded and picked up her bag. "Thank you for the drink, Hagrid." She said to the big man._

"_I'll buy you another one when you get back here with a job." Hagrid winked to her._

_She followed behind Dumbledore towards the stairs, but cast one last look and smile towards Hagrid hoping that he hadn't just jinxed her interview._

She was woken from her musings by a loud bang from somewhere outside her chambers followed by Peeves laughing loudly. She sighed and got up from her chair straightening the black robe she was still wearing from the funeral, undoubtedly Filch would be knocking on her door soon. She wasn't in the mood to deal with Peeves at the moment. This night was for remembering; remembering the past, remembering the time she was the happiest, remembering the losses in a war that made no sense. As she had expected there was a hurried knock on her door.

"Enter." She called out coolly.

"Headmistress," Filch entered out of breath, "Peeves is making trouble again. He knocked over the big vase on the landing…"

"Did it hit anyone?" McGonagall interrupted him.

"No." Filch shook his head. "But…"

"Then I will deal with Peeves in the morning, Argus." She stopped him again. "Just clean up the mess and I'll deal with him tomorrow."

"Yes Headmistress." Filch turned and walked out of her chambers again, muttering what she was sure was his longing to have Dolores Umbridge back as Headmistress.

She sighed and locked the door behind the janitor before sitting back down in the chair. She had no idea how she could take over after Dumbledore. How was she going to take over from the greatest wizard ever seen? She got lost in thoughts again.

"_You finished your studies in transfigurations with flying colours, I see." Dumbledore smiled at her from across the small table they were seated at.__ "And you have mastered the art of animagus as one of just seven this century." He looked at the paper in his hand. "That is very impressive."_

"_Thank you." She gave him what she hoped was her most humble smile, but she couldn't help feeling a little smug. "I worked hard to be the best I could be."_

"_Yes," Dumbledore nodded, "I always knew that you would excel in this subject, having taught you myself." He smiled. "Now, just as a formality, would you mind showing me your animagus form?" He asked with a crooked smile._

"_Of course__." She concentrated and shortly after a tabby car had taken her place in the chair._

"_Very good," Dumbledore clapped, "very good indeed." She changed back to her human form and smiled. "A cat is indeed a very good choice for both the magic and the muggle world. It can prove very useful in the future."_

"_In the future, Sir?" She asked confused, but pleased by his words._

"_Yes, in the future. I hope that this is one of the few times I am wrong, but I don't think it is." He got up from his chair and held out his hand. "Welcome back to Hogwarts Professor McGonagall, I'll see you at the start of the school year."_

"_Is... Is that it?" She stammered out while getting up to shake his hand. "I got the job?"_

"_Yes, Professor." Dumbledore chuckled. "Hagrid will show you to the castle and your chambers. But now I have urgent matters to attend to, my brother seems to have gotten himself into a spot of trouble. There was a mention of a goat, I think." He put on his hat and cloak. "Until we meet again." He tipped his hat and apparated from the room._

She smiled at the memory, never in her wildest imagination had she imagined that the interview would have been that easy. On the walk back to Hogwarts that night so long ago Hagrid had told her that he had been at The Three Broomsticks only to show her back to the castle per Dumbledore's request. She got lost in her thoughts again.

_She spent the first week of her return to Hogwarts to reacquaint herself with the big castle and__ to decorate her chambers and office. Her office only had the things and furniture that was absolutely necessary and she had done that on purpose. She had been a student once and she believed that strict discipline was the most important thing when teaching young people. Her private chambers were the direct opposite of her office, though. She had decorated it in warm earthy colours and she felt the calm and serenity in the air as she stood in the middle of her living room and examined her finished work. She walked over to the mantle and moved a vase slightly to the left, yes, now it was as perfect as it was going to be. Now it was time to take a look at her new classroom, she felt a light tingle in her stomach at the thought. She had her own classroom; everything she had worked so hard for had finally come through. She felt a little giddy and smiled all the way to the transfiguration classroom._

_She stopped right outside the door feeling a little nervous. When she had been a student this had been Dumbledore's classroom and he was the one whose (big) shoes she was going to fill. She tentatively reached out for the doorknob, but jumped back with a shriek when someone put a hand on her shoulder. Turning abruptly she collided with the person standing behind her. They both got out of balance and fell ungracefully to the floor with an 'umph'. Minerva lifted herself up on her elbows and looked down at the woman she had landed on and at once she got lost in the clearest blue eyes she had ever seen._

"_I'm so sorry," the woman said, "I thought you'd seen me walk down the corridor."_

"_Oh," Minerva realized that she was still lying on top of the other woman and got up immediately, "I hadn't seen you. I suppose I got a little lost in thoughts." She reached out a hand to help the other woman up and took the opportunity to take a better look at her. She was a beautiful woman with blue eyes and long blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail. She was slightly taller than Minerva and, judging from the grip she had on her hand, quite strong and as far as she could judge the woman had a very nice figure under the robes she was wearing._

"_You must be the new transfigurations teacher," the woman continued, "and don't worry I always greet the new members of staff by scaring them and knocking them on the floor."_

"_Oh, really?" Minerva looked at her. "How peculiar."_

"_No, that was a joke actually." The blonde looked down the corridor._

"_Oh." Minerva let out a little laugh painfully aware that it came much too late. She held out her hand. "Minerva McGonagall, nice to uh bump into you."_

"_You too," The blonde took her hand in a firm yet gentle grip, "Victoria Mercer."_

"_And I am the new transfiguration teacher." Minerva confirmed a little too late._

"_You have big shoes to fill." Victoria voiced Minerva's earlier thoughts._

"_I do__ indeed." She nodded. "I'm terrified at the thought of it." She admitted sheepishly._

"_I felt the same when I first started here." The blonde witch smiled understandingly._

"_But you didn't have to fill the shoes of Albus Dumbledore." McGonagall said with a small laugh._

"_No, you're right." Mercer laughed with her. "But if you need any help to find your way around this place or need a couple of notes on the worst of the students, you just come find me."_

"_I was a student here, so I can find my way around the place." She told her, but hurried to continue when she saw the slightly disappointed look on the other woman's face. "But I might take you up on that other offer." She couldn't help the slightly flirtatious smile forming on her lips. "What do you teach?"_

"_Care of Magical Creatures," Victoria smiled back at her, "And I'm the deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts as well."_

"_That is very impressive." McGonagall gave her a not so hidden once over. "You seem young for such a position."_

"_I probably am," She said honestly, "but Dumbledore appointed me Deputy Headmistress and said something about it possibly being useful in the future."_

"_He said something like that when he hired me," Minerva mused, "but he didn't explain what he meant by it."_

"_He didn't to me either." Victoria said with an apologetic shrug of her shoulders. "But I trust our Headmaster, he is the greatest wizard I have ever met."_

"_Yes." She nodded in agreement, then looked at the door leading to her new classroom._

"_I'll let you get back to what you were doing." Professor Mercer backed up a few steps. "I just wanted to introduce myself before school starts." She picked up a bag Minerva hadn't noticed before and, noticing the black haired witch's stare, the blonde explained. "I just got back from my vacation. Anyway, it was nice meeting you and I am very sorry for knocking you off your feet like that."_

"_It was nice to meet you too." Minerva kept her eyes on the retreating figure of the care of magical creatures' teacher until she turned around the corner and out of sight. She shook her head to clear her thoughts of the deep blue eyes and determinedly entered her new classroom._

With a flick of her wand a drawer opened and a picture frame floated into her hands. She looked down at it and smiled sadly to the two figures in it. It was a younger version of herself and standing behind her with her arms circled around her waist was Victoria Mercer. They both wore big smiles and time and time again the younger Minerva in the picture turned her head and kissed Victoria on the cheek.

"God knows I still love you." She whispered softly to the blonde witch in the picture. She gently placed the picture on the table next to her and leaned her head back against the chair.

_The first __three months at Hogwarts had gone by as well as could be expected, so she wasn't as nervous as she could have been when her evaluation with Dumbledore came up. She was sitting opposite him in his office waiting for him to start talking._

"_Professor McGonagall," he started, "you have exceeded even my expectations these three months."_

"_Thank you, Headmaster." She felt her cheeks burn a little._

"_I, of course, hope you will continue on as a teacher here at Hogwarts?"_

"_I will__." She said short and precise._

"_In that case," Dumbledore smiled at her, "you might remember that I was Head of Gryffindor House before becoming Headmaster."_

"_Yes, I do." Minerva smiled. "I am a Gryffindor myself."_

"_Professor Becket has been filling in for me in this first semester, but it is not his wish to continue and therefore I want to offer you the job as Head of Gryffindor House as well as being transfiguration teacher."_

"_Well, I… I… I accept." She stammered out happily._

"_Splendid." Dumbledore said with a knowing glint in his eyes. "I will make the announcement this evening at dinner."_

"_Yes, thank you," She got up from her seat, "I'll see you at dinner then." She left his office and walked to her chambers with an extra bounce in her step._

_She stopped shortly when she saw the witch leaning a little too casually against the wall outside her chambers reading a book. Her hand went involuntarily to her hair checking that no locks had fallen out of her tight ponytail, once satisfied she continued down the corridor._

"_Professor Mercer." She greeted the blonde witch._

"_Professor McGonagall." The blonde smiled at her and closed her book. "How did the evaluation go?"_

"_It went perfectly well." Minerva opened the door to her chambers and showed the other woman in. She quickly formed a strong friendship with the blonde and over the short time gone by the initial attraction she had felt had blossomed into love. She had fallen in love with her colleague, but she hadn't acted on her feelings. She wasn't sure that she felt it was proper for colleagues to be in a relationship and more importantly she wasn't at all sure that the curvy blonde harboured the same feelings for her._

"_So you're staying on then?" The blonde turned towards her and watched as she closed the door._

"_I am." Minerva confirmed. "And as of tonight I am also Head of Gryffindor House." She said with a little shriek._

"_Wow!" Victoria threw her arms around her and hugged her tightly. "Congratulations! That is so great, Min!" She loosened her grip a little and moved her head to look her in the eyes._

"_Thank you." Minerva's voice had dropped to a whisper._

"_Gryffindor couldn't have gotten a better person for the job." Victoria's voice had dropped to a whisper as well. She looked her in the eyes a second longer, before slowly moving her head closer to Minerva's. Touching their foreheads together, she brought her hand up to Minerva's cheek and caressed it softly before tilting her head slightly upwards to meet her lips in a sweet loving kiss._

_Minerva felt the fireworks go off in her entire body by the light pressure from the other witch's lips against her own. The kiss was slow and unassuming, chaste almost, but she had never felt stronger for another person than she did at that moment. When it ended she snuggled content into the crook of Victoria's neck._

"_That was long overdue, huh?" The blonde whispered into her hair._

_Minerva moved to look her in the eyes and nodded._

"_Yes. Yes, it was." She smiled and moved in for another kiss._


	2. Chapter 2

**Remembering**

**Chapter Two**

"_**That was long overdue, huh?" The blonde whispered into her hair.**_

_**Minerva moved to look her in the eyes and nodded.**_

"_**Yes. Yes, it was." She smiled and moved in for another kiss.**_

_The rest of the day went by like a blink of an eye and before she knew it she had been announced as the new Head of Gryffindor House, dinner was over and Victoria was walking her to her chambers._

"_The Gryffindor students seemed very happy with their new Head of House." Victoria commented._

"_Yes." She nodded absentmindedly. She was trying to determine whether to invite the blonde witch into her chambers or not._

"_James Potter and his friends seemed particularly happy." Victoria smiled._

"_Yes." She nodded again and realized that they were dangerously close to her chambers and she was getting more nervous by the second._

"_Are you ok, Min?" The blonde sounded a little worried._

"_What?" Minerva looked over at her shortly. "Yes, I'm fine."_

"_Are you sure?" They stopped in front of her door. "You seem a little out of sorts."_

"_Yes, I'm…" She turned and noticed the concern in the blue eyes in front of her. "I'm nervous." She admitted._

"_Nervous?" She asked looking like she didn't quite believe her._

"_Yes, nervous," Minerva confirmed, "and possibly a little flustered."_

"_Flustered? Minerva, you're never flustered." Victoria placed a comforting hand on her arm. "What could possibly make you flustered?"_

"_You." The black haired witch answered honestly. "I have no idea what to do right now and it is making me a bit flustered."_

"_Oh," the concerned glint in her eyes was replaced by a surprisingly shy one, "well, what about me exactly makes you flustered? Maybe I can help you out."_

"_I…" She paused and looked up and down the corridor to make sure no one overheard them. "I have no idea whether I should invite you in or not." She whispered._

"_Oh, that's an easy one," the blonde let out a chuckle, "you should definitely invite me in."_

"_Really?" She joined in the laughing and opened the door. "Come on then."_

"_Min," She stopped right outside the door, "if you're not sure…"_

"_I'm sure." She stopped her. "But if you're not…"_

"_I'm sure." Victoria hurried inside. "I just wanted to make sur... umph" She was stopped by McGonagall's lips on her own._

Remembering the kiss, she could still feel a tingle in her stomach. She looked at the picture beside her again, looking into the blue eyes of the blonde witch. She reached out a hand and gently caressed her face, but it left her with a hollow feeling – the picture could never replace the real thing. The kissing had soon lead to more and their first night together had been magic and to her it had been the most perfect night of passion she had ever experienced. She turned her head away from the picture.

_The rest of the semester went by in a blur of feelings of happiness for Minerva. She had never been happier in her life. All too soon Christmas came around and she had to leave Victoria behind at Hogwarts to go s__pend the holiday with her family. On the morning of the 22__nd__ she was lying in bed next to Victoria, they had exhausted each other the night before. She was playing absentmindedly with one of the other woman's hands._

"_I love your hands." She said caressing the hand._

"_Yeah?" The other witch looked down at their hands._

"_Yes," She nodded, "They are so strong, yet gentle at the same time."_

"_They could be softer," the blonde mused, "but it's hard to have soft hands when you work with animals all day."_

"_They're perfect." She squeezed the hand she was playing with gently. __"I'm going to miss you." She said softly._

"_I'll miss you too." Victoria intertwined their hands._

"_I'll send you owls." She offered._

"_Every day?" The blonde asked._

"_Every day." She nodded._

"_I'll answer." Victoria brought their intertwined hands to her lips and kissed them softly. "And I really will miss you, Min."_

Minerva smiled at the thought of that first Christmas. She had been so distracted that even her Uncle Alvin had noticed, and he usually never noticed anything.

_She has spent every spare moment she'd had looking out the windows for owls. The first one had arrived only a few hours after she had arrived and the note hadn't said much, only three words:_

I miss you.

_She had been very aware of the curious glances her mother shot her way from time to time, but she skilfully avoided being alone with her and thus avoiding the questions she had. Every time she received an owl she felt her heart rate increase and she hurried to finish what she was doing to go somewhere private to read it and to write back. She had kept her promise and had sent out an owl every single day, some days she even sent more than one._

_On the morning of the 25__th__ she stayed in bed a little while after waking up. She was staring at the ceiling daydreaming about blue eyes and blond hair, when her mother knocked on the door and entered the room._

"_This arrived for you." She said handing her a packet whilst sitting down on the side of the bed._

"_Thank you." She took the packet but didn't open it._

"_Are you going to tell me what has you so distracted, Minnie?" Her mother asked. When her daughter didn't answer she continued. "You have met someone new, haven't you?" _

"_Yes." Minerva looked down at the__ parcel in her hand. "I have."_

"_You have met someone and you don't want to gossip about her with your mother?" Her mother looked at little closer at her. "Oh dear, you've met the one and only, haven't you love?"_

"_Mum," Minerva looked up and met her mother's eyes, "it has only been three months…"_

"_Sometimes all it takes is a minute." Her mother countered. "Oh Minnie, I'm so happy for you. Now why didn't you bring her home to meet us? You know we always have room for one more."_

"_Mu__m…" She tried to cut off her mother, but to no avail._

"_And she wouldn't even take up another bed, so I really can't understand why you wouldn't bring her. Well, I suppose she had to visit her own parents, but you could at least have invited her. Oh, just you wait until your father finds out, he will be so happy for you." Her mother got up from the bed and walked to the door. "I better go tell him right away and let you open up your present in private. Oh, my little Minnie," she clasped her hands in front of her chest, "I am so happy for you."_

_When her mother had left the room Minerva fell back against the pillows again with a sigh. So much for not talking to her mother about Victoria yet, she thought to herself. Not that her mother had let her talk that much, but she would have liked to have kept the blonde to herself a little longer. She looked down at the present in her hand and carefully started opening it._

Minerva brought her hand up to play with the locket around her neck, of all the presents Victoria had given her it was the one she treasured the most. It wasn't extravagant, it wasn't the most beautiful locket, it wasn't even magical, but it was the first visible sign of their love for each other. When she had opened the locket the first time it had been empty, but later, much later, she had put a lock of blonde hair inside it and she had kept it closed ever since. She got up from the chair and moved over to the window looking out. The light was on in Hagrid's hut indicating that Grawp had successfully been returned to his hiding place. Looking at the sky her eyes followed an owl flying towards one of the towers, her fingers were still playing with the locket around her neck.

_She returned to Hogwarts five long days after she'd left.__ She'd been eager to find the blonde and after having asked various people, amongst them professor Flitwick, she finally found her in her office. She paused shortly at the open door to take in the vision of her girlfriend before knocking lightly._

"_Yes?" Victoria didn't look up from the parchment she was writing on._

"_Professor Mercer?" McGonagall walked in as the other woman's head snapped up in surprise. "May I come in?"_

"_Min?" She put down the quill in her hand. "You weren't supposed to be back for two more days." She stated._

"_Well," She closed the door behind her, "I can leave again and come back in two days if you want." She offered with a smile._

"_No!" The blonde got up and walked over to her. "I was just writing you," she said gesturing to the parchment on her desk, "telling you how much I miss you."_

"_And since I missed you too, I decided to come back a little early, hoping that you wouldn't mind too much." She let her eyes linger on every curve of the witch in front of her, before meeting clear blue eyes._

"_I don't mind at all." A big smile blossomed on the witch's lips and she put her arms around Minerva's waist and pulled her in for a hug. "In fact I'm thrilled to see you again, Professor McGonagall."_

_Minerva broke the hug reluctantly but kept her arms around the taller woman's neck.__ She looked her in the eyes and her heart started beating faster when she saw the love that shone for her in the other woman's gaze._

"_God knows I missed you, Min." Victoria touched their foreheads together, but just as they were about to kiss there was a knock on the door and it swung open before they had a chance to react._

"_Professor Mercer,__ have you seen Professor Mc…" The young girl walking in the room stopped when she saw the two witches in the intimate embrace. "Oh God, I'm… I'm sorry." She started backing out of the room frantically. "I'm so sorry."_

"_Miss Evans." Minerva immediately let go of Victoria and stepped away from her. "Who were you looking for?" She managed to ask trying to make her blush go away by sheer will._

"_I… You, Professor…" Lily stammered out. "But it can wait, I'll just…" She pointed at the corridor behind her and backed even further out of the room, turned around and hurried down the corridor._

"_Oh God." Minerva hid her head in her hands. "This is going to be all over school or at least Gryffindor House when the other students get back." She peered out between her hands to see Victoria's reaction, the witch had a small smile playing on her lips. "This is not funny, Tory." She scolded._

"_It is a little funny, Min." Victoria countered. "You'll be accused of fraternizing with the enemy." She chuckled._

"_Fraternizing with the enemy?" She shrieked. "I am doing no such thing."_

"_I _am_ Head of Ravenclaw." The blonde reminded her._

"_Well, if I am accused of fraternizing with the enemy I'll drag you down with me." She warned pointing a finger at her. She looked towards the still open door. "I better go find Miss Evans to see what she wanted in the first place… And maybe do a little damage control." She walked to the door._

"_Min." Victoria stopped her and walked over to her._

"_Tory," Minerva gestured to the opened door, "we agreed on keeping this a secret."_

"_Yes," she nodded and stepped closer. Reaching out behind Minerva she shut the door and pinned her up against it. "But I have this problem where I haven't kissed you in five days and I'm not letting you leave before I've made that problem go away. So that means that Miss Evans will have to wait another five minutes." With that she moved her head closer and finally Minerva could enjoy the feel of the other woman's lips on hers and her tongue against her own. She moaned into the kiss and felt her knees go weak, before the blonde broke the kiss, opened the door and pushed her gently out to the corridor._

"_You better go find Miss Evans," she said with a smile. "I'll see you at dinner."_

Lily Evans. Minerva stayed by the window staring blankly into the darkness. Lily Evans had been a very talented witch, she had been more than decent at transfigurations, but her force was potions. Horace Slughorn had often sung her praises when she was a student. And now, like so many others, she was gone. McGonagall clearly remembered the embarrassing conversation she'd had with the young fifth year student.

_She'd walked hurriedly to the Gryffindor dormitories hoping she'd find her student there and she'd been lucky._

"_Miss Evans," she said to the girl who was sitting in one of the soft chairs in the common room. "May I have a word with you in my office?" She deliberately ignored the two other students in the room and turned on her heel expecting the young girl to follow her._

_They walked in complete silence to her office and the silence continued while she sat down behind her desk and gestured for her student to take a seat opposite her. Not once did their eyes meet, both being too embarrassed by what the young girl had nearly witnessed._

"_Miss Evans," she started finally looking at her student, who was blushing furiously. "Why are you not home for the holiday?" She asked a little too harshly for her own liking._

"_I uh," the girl still didn't meet her eyes. "I decided to stay here to study for the exams in June." The girl explained. "My parents are muggles, so I can't really…" She gestured helplessly with her right hand. "I mean, they're very proud of me, but they can't help me with any of my studies, so… I thought I'd stay here." She finished in a small voice._

"_Well," She lightened her voice a little, "that is very recommendable, Miss Evans, especially considering the importance of the O.W.L.s."_

"_Thank you, Professor." The girl was still not meeting her eyes._

"_About what you saw earlier," McGonagall started, "you were not supposed to have seen that." She stopped not wanting to explain her private affairs further to a student._

"_I'm sorry, Professor McGonagall." Lily finally looked up and met her professor's eyes. "I won't tell anyone about it." She said honestly. "It's just… I met Professor Flitwick and he mentioned that you were back and that you might be in Professor Mercer's office and I didn't know and…"_

"_Yes, yes," she stopped her rambling. "I would appreciate your silence, but…"_

"_I promise I won't tell a single person, Professor." Lily repeated._

"_Well, very well, Miss Evans, but next time, please make sure to wait for an answer before barging into a professor's office." Minerva wished she had papers to shuffle around her desk to occupy her hands, but as usual she had finished everything before leaving for Christmas. "Thank you." She added sincerely. "Now," she folded her hands on the table, "why were you looking for me in the first place?" She asked._

Despite her better judgement she had developed a soft spot for the young redheaded student with the green eyes. She didn't favour her in classes and she gave her the marks on her homework that she deserved, but she did help her when she asked. And she didn't do it, because she kept the secret, but simply because she was a good, hardworking and decent girl. Now she was teaching her son and he had found his own soft spot in her otherwise closed off heart.

She turned away from the window and the picture frame caught her eye again. She walked slowly towards it, but stopped in the middle of the room, when she remembered how hard Tory had laughed when she'd told her about her conversation with Lily Evans – and how she despite her best efforts hadn't been able to stop herself from laugh right along with her. Being with Victoria had made her find a side of herself she didn't think existed, a lighter and more carefree side. She had even slacked on a few rules, something she had never in her life done before. Like the time she had caught James Potter and Sirius Blake walking back to the castle one early morning with their friend Remus Lupin, whom she knew had just changed back to his human form. Before Victoria their punishment would have been far more severe than the two weeks of detention she had given them both. It had been for their own good, Remus was very dangerous when he in his wolf state and it was not something that should be taken lightly. Of course now she knew that they had never been in any danger, since both of them were unregistered animagus; she wasn't really sure what she'd have done if she'd known that at the time. They were yet another two very talented wizards who had been torn from this world much too soon.

For a while things in her life had been wonderful, but all too soon the war between good and bad broke out and both young teachers were recruited to The Order of the Phoenix. She had been on her second year of teaching when she first heard of the sign the Death Eaters left over houses where they had killed someone. Victoria, she remembered, had been the first one to break it to a Ravenclaw student that his father had been killed, and all too many times after that the Heads of Houses had had to tell students about losses in their families. At first she hadn't understood or even suspected the horrible reasons for these unforgivable crimes, but soon she understood all too well. She vividly remembered the meeting she and Victoria had had with Dumbledore. Before the meeting she'd been worried that Dumbledore had discovered that they were in a relationship, after the meeting she'd wished that that was all it was.

"_Professor Mercer, Professor McGonagall," he greeted them when they entered his office one night. "Please have a seat." He pointed at the two comfortable chairs on the other side of his desk._

"_Is this meeting about our… involvement?" Victoria asked timidly. Dumbledore had not informed them why they had been summoned to this meeting._

"_No," he shook his head. "Although," he looked at both of them with a small smile, "I do approve of your… involvement. True love is hard to come by and should not be taken lightly, especially not in the dark times we are facing."_

_Minerva let out a deep sigh in relief, she had been very nervous going to the meeting. She didn't know what she would have done if Dumbledore had prohibited their relationship._

"_No, my dear friends," Dumbledore rose from his chair and walked to the window looking out. "I'm afraid I have much more sinister news to discuss with the two of you tonight." He turned around and looked at them._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"_**No, my dear friends," Dumbledore rose from his chair and walked to the window looking out. "I'm afraid I have much more sinister news to discuss with the two of you to**__**night." He turned around and looked at them.**_

That night they had as some of the first joined The Order of the Phoenix and both had been prepared to do what it they had to do to fight He Who Must Not Be Named, and in the end they had both paid the price.

"_I am sure you have both realized that the recent murders in our world are a part of a bigger plan." Dumbledore sat back down opposite them. "On my trips around the country I have come to discover that these murders are the work of a former student here at Hogwarts called Tom Riddle, who now calls himself Lord Voldemort."_

_Minerva felt a small shiver go through her body at the mention of the name, but she shook it off and continued to concentrate on what Dumbledore was telling them._

"_Tom has been gathering followers since his schooldays and as far as I have discovered they call themselves Death Eaters and they mention neither his given or his taken name, they only refer to him as The Dark Lord. He is the darkest wizard I have ever had the displeasure to meet and we need to do everything in our power to stop him or the world as we know it will be destroyed." Dumbledore looked them in the eye. "Tom is dangerous and if you become his enemy you will be in mortal danger."_

_Minerva felt Victoria take her hand and looked over at her. She had become an expert at reading the expression in the blonde witch's eyes and nodded slightly to her in understanding. Together they faced Dumbledore again._

"_What do you need from us?" Victoria asked softly._

"_Lord Voldemort is gaining more and more followers," Dumbledore smiled sadly. "So I have formed a group that can fight him in a less official manner than the Ministry of Magic. It is called The Order of the Phoenix and I am asking you both to join us and fight him." He cast a short gaze at Fawkes sitting in the corner of the office. "I will think no less of either of you if you decline this invitation. People who choose to fight him will become his enemies and you have seen what can happen to people who displease him."_

_They looked at each other again and Minerva recognized the determination in her girlfriend's eyes and she knew that it was mirrored in her own. The only difference between them was that she was sure that fear was mingling with determination in her own eyes. She was scared for the future, but she would do what she had to do to make sure that the world again was safe from this dark wizard. Looking back at Dumbledore she opened her mouth to speak._

"_We'll join the order." Was her words, short, precise and to the point._

That was how they had joined the order. It had been a pleasant meeting without drama, it had given no indications of the terrors to come. Sitting back down Minerva swung her wand again and another picture flew from the drawer into her hands. It was a picture of some of the original members of the Order, so many of them were no longer in this world. She looked down at the photo in her hands and quickly found herself and right beside her, holding her right hand, was Victoria. She moved her eyes along the row of people in the picture. Edgar Bones, he had been one of the first members of the Order, he and his entire family were killed in the first war, as were Marlene McKinnon and her family. She remembered Marlene from school, she was a Gryffindor as well, but two years older than Minerva. She had been strong, talented and brave, but she had been brutally slaughtered by You Know Who's army. Dorcas Meadowes, another powerful witch was killed by The Dark Lord himself. The Prewett brothers had gone down fighting, it had taken five Death Eaters to kill them, and now their sister had joined the new Order. She only hoped that Molly would not lose more members of her family to this war. The Weasleys had already paid a high price in the fight against He Who Must Not Be Named. Arthur was almost killed by his snake, Ronald had been poisoned and Bill attacked by Fenrir Greyback, and still they were willing to fight, still they would not stop until they were either dead or You Know Who was defeated.

She put the picture away with a sigh, so many people had died in this meaningless war. So many people still alive had lost so much because one man came into power, because no one stopped him early enough. More people would lose their lives in this fight and her heart was already bleeding for them and their families.

"_Will we win this fight?" Minerva turned to face the blonde lying next to her. "Do we have the powers to fight him?"_

"_I…" Victoria looked at the ceiling, not wanting to meet her eyes. "I don't know, Min." She sighed. "But I do know that I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try."_

"_I know." She placed a hand on the other woman's stomach. They stayed silent for a while._

"_We should get up." Victoria said, but didn't move._

"_I want you to meet my parents." Minerva said out of the blue. "They've been dying to meet you."_

"_Yeah?" The blonde finally looked over at her._

"_Yes," she nodded. "Let's go right now," she got up from the bed and picked up her clothes. "It's Sunday, we can use the floo network and be back tonight."_

"_Min," Victoria tried to get her attention, but didn't succeed. She jumped out of bed as well and pulled her into an embrace. "Minerva, this isn't like you."_

"_What isn't?" She asked into her shoulder._

"_Being this impulsive." The blonde answered. "You are many wonderful things, but impulsive isn't one of them." She held her out to look her in the eyes. "This scares me as well, but we have to do it."_

"_I…" She felt the tears well up in her eyes. "I know." She eased back into the other woman's embrace. "I know."_

They hadn't gone to meet her parents that day, but she had taken Tory to meet them the first chance she'd gotten. Her parents had loved her almost as much as Minerva did, they had seen the love shining between the two. Minerva sat back down with another sigh. Years had passed and still everything stood as clearly before her as if it had happened just yesterday. She remembered how truly happy Tory had been after meeting Minerva's parents, how surprised she was to be accepted at face value, how she wanted to adopt them as her own. She smiled sadly, knowing that Tory would never know that her parents already loved her as a daughter. She had so many things she wanted to say to the blonde witch, so many words unsaid. But at least she had told her how much she loved her, at least she knew that much.

"_I love you." Minerva sat in bed with the sheets covering only her legs._

"_I love you too," Victoria glanced over at her. "Especially when you're posed like that." She winked at her._

"_Tory," she sighed and shook her head. The blonde was going on a mission for the Order and she wanted to make sure that she knew how much she loved her._

"_Min," the blonde sat down next to her. "I'm sorry." She kissed her lazily on the cheek._

"_I just…" She shook her head, cursing herself for being so needy. "I just want to have you back in one piece."_

"_I know. And I do love you." She got up from the bed and finished dressing. "I promise to be careful." She walked towards the door. "I'll see you when I get back."_

They'd been together for four years when that conversation had taken place. They hadn't even kissed goodbye. She didn't see Victoria again that night, she never saw the Victoria she knew again. She couldn't stop the tears from spilling. That night, that ordinary Thursday night, she had lost the love of her life – she had lost her reason for living.

_She looked up from the book she was reading as she heard the knock on the door. She looked at her watch frowning, no one usually visited at this late hour. As she got up from the couch she felt her chest tighten with fear. No one but Victoria would come by this late and seeing how she lived there as well she wouldn't have to knock to be allowed inside. Taking a deep breath to calm herself she opened the door to be faced with Albus Dumbledore. Taking one look at his face she knew the news before he spoke._

"_No," she took a step back shaking her head in denial. She followed him with her eyes as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Gently he took her by the elbow escorting her to the couch sitting her down._

"_She's not dead," he said gravely looking her in the eyes. "But…" He swallowed not quite able to continue._

"_What happened?" She asked numbly. She could tell from his behavior that she had lost her love, but somehow the tears didn't come._

"_She was captured by death eaters and put through the Crusiatius Curse." He looked away blinking his own tears away. "Moody managed to locate their location, but we got there too late." He shook his head. "She's in a bad state in Skt. Mungos now. The healers have informed me that nothing can be done for her."_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"_**She was captured by death eaters and put through the Cruciatius curse." He looked away blinking his own tears away. "Moody managed to locate their location, but we got there too late." He shook his head. "She's in a bad state in Skt. Mungos now. The healers have informed me that nothing can be done for her."**_

"_This is your fault." Minerva pulled her hand away from his, but kept her voice calm. "You made sure she knew how much you counted on her. You made it impossible for her to say no to the jobs you gave her."_

"_I know," he hung his head and for the first time ever she saw weakness in him. "You can never know how much I blame myself."_

"_Is she at Skt. Mungos now?" She got up from the couch not able to look at him._

"_Yes," he nodded. "But…"_

"_I _will_ go see her." She put on her coat and went to the fireplace. "She's all I've got to live for Albus. Or rather, she was all I had to live for." She threw a handful of green powder into the fire and stepped into it and in the heat of the fire the first tear finally fell – she had lost her love, her life, in a heartbeat._

She regretted that she had accused Albus of being the reason for Victoria being hurt, and yet she didn't. All she had said that evening was true. The blonde couldn't say no to Dumbledore's requests, but the truth was also that she wouldn't have wanted to either. Deep down Minerva knew that there was only one person, if he could be called a person, who was responsible and that was Lord Voldemort. That and that alone was the reason that she had joined the Order again a second time. She wanted to avenge the people she had lost in the first war, Victoria most of all.

_The healer had been very gentle when he explained that there was nothing they could do for Victoria, and even gentler when he lead her to her room and opened the door for her. She only hesitated a second before stepping in. No words could have prepared her for the sight of her beloved lying motionless in the bed as if just sleeping peacefully. Somehow she had expected more drama or at least cuts and bruises, but all she saw was the same beautiful face. She stepped gingerly up to the bed and reached out to caress Tory's cheek gently. Her skin was warm to the touch and yet it inspired no hope in her. She knew the facts and she knew when to believe in facts._

"_Oh darling," she sighed. "My sweet, sweet darling." She hadn't realized that tears had started falling, but as she did realize she didn't bother wiping them away. For once she allowed herself to break just a little, for once she just sat down and cried – and for the first time in four years no one was there to put strong arms around her and hold her tight._

It had been months before Victoria had woken up, but it hadn't changed a thing. She had no memory and no speech. It had broken Minerva's heart all over again, and she had discovered that despite all the facts, she had held up hope that if only Tory woke up everything would be fine again. She caressed the locket around her neck again. The day she'd realized that Tory would never be back, was the day she had placed a lock of the blonde hair, she had loved so much, inside the locket, and since that day she had never taken off the locket.

_About six months after that dreadful night, she had once again been summoned to Dumbledore's office. This time she wasn't feeling nervous, in fact she wasn't feeling much at all. She hadn't been able to since seeing Victoria motionless in a bed at Skt. Mungos. She had taught her classes without neglect, but not with the same passion as before. She sighed deeply before knocking the door._

"_Enter," Dumbledore's voice called through the door._

"_You wanted to see me," she said as she entered the office._

"_Yes, Professor," he nodded and asked her to sit down. "How is she doing?" He asked eyes filled with compassion._

"_There has been no change," she answered, "as I think you know as well as I do."_

"_Yes, you're right." He folded his hands on the desk and looked down at them. "I hope, despise the fact that this has happened to Victoria, that you won't leave…"_

"_The Order?" She interrupted before he finished speaking. "Your precious order!! That is all that matters, isn't it?" She got up from the chair she was sitting in. "But don't you worry about that, I am still in The Order, and I will stay in The Order until I have made sure that the people who… hurt her has paid the price for it."_

"_I meant to say The School, Minerva." He said gently. "I hope you will stay on and teach even if…" He paused. "Even if Victoria will not be back here again."_

"_Oh," she sat down in surprise. "I... I had not thought about leaving the school." She answered truthfully. "Teaching is all I know how to do."_

"_Good," Dumbledore smiled sadly._

_They sat a few minutes in silence and Minerva had the strange feeling that Dumbledore was working up the courage to tell her something more. That in itself was strange, since she had never known him to hesitate and especially not in talking to her._

"_I…" He finally broke the silence, but paused. "The school," he began again. "The school needs a new deputy headmistress." He looked up at her. "And I would like to offer you the position."_

"_I see," she looked over at Fawkes to avoid the guilt of having shown in his eyes._

"_You are the one on staff most qualified for the position and the most capable." He explained._

"_And the one of us you feel you owe the most." She added looking back at him._

"_You are," he agreed. "But that is not the reason you are being offered the job." He looked back down at his folded hands. "I can never fully apologize or explain how sorry I am about what happened to Victoria. And I can never ask for your forgiveness. I hope I will have years to find a way for you to trust me again and to gain your friendship yet again." He looked up with tears threatening to spill. "But I am not and will never put my own interests before the interests of this school. You are the one most capable. You have been in mourning and still you have taught all your classes and taught them well. That shows great dedication to teaching and it shows me, it shows all of us privy to your personal loss, that you are a very strong person and the right person for the job."_

"_I will have to think about it." She got up from the chair and walked to the door. "You will have my answer within the next week." She left the office without looking back._

She got up from her chair and walked to the window again staring into the darkness. She had accepted the position and she had held it ever since. It had not been easy taking over Victoria's old job, but she had done it without fuss and with only a few tears. She had dutifully visited the Blonde at least twice a week, but there was still no change in her condition. It had been hard, excruciatingly hard, and in some ways it still was. She had indeed over time forgiven Dumbledore in heart as well as mind. She had known for a long time that he was not really to blame, that there had always been a choice both for the blonde and for the ones that hurt her, but it had taken longer for her heart to understand that truth. It had taken longer, because if she fully accepted it, she would have no one to blame and where would that lead her?

_She knocked gently on the door of Dumbledore's office and waited to his 'enter' before opening the door._

"_Professor McGonagall?" He looked surprised to see her. "How may I help you this evening?" He put down the scroll of parchment he was reading and turned his attention fully on her._

"_I…" She stopped, unable to form the sentence. She sat down opposite him and tried starting over. "I have so many words unsaid." She looked him in the eyes. "So many things I never had the time to tell Tory. Sometimes I wonder if I actually did tell her how much I love her…"_

"_She…" He started to interrupt her but stopped talking when she held up a hand to silence him._

"_I know that she knew, but did I tell her enough? I never let her know how much my parents cared for her or that blue was my favorite color on her. There are just so many things that I never got to tell her." She paused and looked up at him. "I don't want to have that happen again, so I am here tonight to tell you that I have forgiven you. I am here to let you know that it was never your fault, so that forgiveness is not really mine to give. But if you need it, you have it fully."_

"_Thank you, Minerva." He blinked away the tears in his eyes. "That is more that I deserve."_

"_It isn't." She stated._

_They sat in silence for a few minutes again. This time Minerva was the one to break it._

"_I have changed since I lost her." She said lost in thought. "And I will never be that person again. I can be your friend and I can care some for you, but I am not sure that I can let anyone fully into my heart again – a friend or a lover."_

"_I am sorry." He looked intently at her, knowing that she was speaking the truth._

"_I will never be sorry for having had her in my life." She looked up. "I loved her with all that I was – I still love her and I will always love her."_

She dried away the tears falling down her cheek with the sleeve of her robe and continued starting into the darkness. As much as she had wanted them not to be her words then had been true. She had never found another one to love, she hadn't even found someone who could make her feel only half as loved as Victoria.

In the years following this conversation she and Albus had formed a new friendship, a friendship on more equal footing than the old one. She had no longer been the young witch practically worshipping the wizard, but a woman who had seen the weakness in the man. She had stayed in The Order and she had accepted missions that her old self would have never considered and then one night it had all been over. Lord Voldemort had been destroyed by a small boy and the war was over.

She had been devastated when she'd heard the news about Lily and James Potter and their poor little boy Harry. She had been sitting on a wall, in her cat form, all day waiting for Albus to show up at the Dursley's house. She frowned at the thought of that family. They had never treated the poor boy right, but Albus had been right, it had been the only option to leave him there. She had met with Dumbledore the next day in his office.

"_This was not your fault, Albus." She paced the office slowly. "You offered to be the secret keeper, but they refused and used Sirius Black instead. You cannot blame yourself for their death."_

"_It is hard not to. They were young and had just started their life together." He was, as usual, sitting behind his desk with his hands folded._

"_At least both of them died." She stated sharply before catching herself. She turned towards the desk. "I didn't mean that." She said, "at least not in the way that it sounded."_

"_I know," he smiled sadly at her. "I know that, Minerva."_

_The silence rose between them as she continued pacing the length of the office and he continued staring at his hands, both lost in thought._

"_And Sirius Black of all people!" Minerva exclaimed. "I would never in a million years have believed that he would have betrayed them. I still don't. How could he have done that to his best friends?"_

"_All the evidence points to him having done so," she had never heard him sounding so tired. "We may have won the war for now, but was it worth all the losses?" He wondered out loud._

"_It never is." She said shortly, sitting down opposite him. "What will we do now?" She asked._

"_We will celebrate that Voldemort is gone for now and continue living our lives." He answered._

"_For now?" She asked. "Will he be back?"_

"_I fear that he will, yes." Dumbledore nodded. "But for now all we can do is wait, wait and hope that I am wrong."_

"_But you are not." Minerva smiled wryly. "You hardly ever are."_


	5. Final chapter 1

This is the first ending I wrote for this. The second will be posted in about 5 secs :-D Thanks for reading.

**Chapter Five**

"_**For now?" She asked. "Will he be back?"**_

"_**I fear that he will, yes." Dumbledore nodded. "But for now all we can do is wait, wait and hope that I am wrong."**_

"_**But you are not." Minerva smiled wryly. "You hardly ever are."**_

And he had indeed been right and in the end it had led to his death. She turned her back to the window leaning against the sill. Albus was dead. Her closest friend and the only person who knew how much she had hurt and was still hurting was dead. Never in her life had she felt so alone, never had she been this uncertain about the future of the world as she knew it. They had had one last conversation before his death, and like so many times before in the last 11 years it had been about Harry.

"_We should help the boy, Albus." She told him. "We cannot let him handle it all alone."_

"_He is not alone." Dumbledore countered._

"_Yes, he does have Ronald Weasley and Hermoine Granger at his side, and they are both in their own way talented, but he could use the help of wizards and witches that are of age, that have been trained for years." She got up and started pacing. "He is just a boy for God's sake!"_

"_He is a boy who has faced dangers than most wizards years older than him." He looked at her more sharply than he had in years. "I have complete faith in Harry. And if I am right he, and he alone, is the one wizard who can finish this."_

"_And you are rarely wrong." She commented dryly. "But I still feel that it is too great a burden for him. He is barely of age."_

"_I didn't think you had it in you anymore, Minerva." Dumbledore looked at her with a small smile._

"_What?" She demanded._

"_To let anyone into your heart again," he said with no malice._

"_I…" She sat back down. "Neither did I." She looked at him with an even smaller smile. "But somehow those three dug their way in. I care for them and I will do what I can to not see them hurt, there has been enough losses."_

"_There has," he turned serious again. "And I'm sorry to tell you that there will be even more losses before it is over. I wish something could be done to help it, but we both know that is impossible."_

"_Yes," she sighed. "We both know that."_

"_Do you still visit her?" He asked._

"_I do," she confirmed._

"_I have not seen her in years." He admitted_

"_She looks the same, only older. She has aged with grace." She smiled. "But I always knew that she would."_

_He smiled and nodded._

"_Will you promise to help Harry if he ever asks you?" He changed the subject._

"_I always have," was her honest answer._

"_Will you please promise me? If there is a time that I am not here to help him, I am sure that he will turn to you next."_

"_Nothing will happen to you Albus…" She started._

"_Minerva, please!" He had never raised his voice to her before and it startled her._

"_Yes, I promise to help Harry if he should ask for it." She promised. "I will help him even if he doesn't ask."_

"_Thank you, Minerva." He looked her in the eyes. "I have always known that I could trust you. I am grateful that you are my friend, even if it is much more than I deserve."_

"_Albus," she was brought to silence by the hand he held up._

She had not been allowed to tell him again that she did no longer blame him. But at least she had told him once and he had understood. She knew now that he had had much more trouble forgiving himself. Two nights after this conversation he had fallen from the tower, and she was now, once again, to fill his shoes. Yet, after allowing herself to remember everything, she was not nearly as nervous as she had thought. She had handled everything else in her life thus far and she would handle this as well to the best of her abilities. She would become the new Headmistress of Hogwarts.

**Epilog**

**Late summer**

"Hello, Professor McGonagall." The healer looked pleased to see her as always.

"Hello, Healer Raphael." She granted him a smile before entering Victoria's room.

The blonde was lying in bed staring into space as always. She was still beautiful though she had aged 20 years.

"Hello, Dear." Minerva sat on the side of the bed and smoothed back the now white hair. "Have you missed me?" She asked tenderly. "I am sorry that I haven't been able to visit as frequently as usual, but the war is drawing closer and…" She looked in the empty eyes of her love. "We lost Albus, Tory. Albus is dead." She waited, as always in vain, for some sort of sign that she had understood. "Well," she sat up a little straighter and took one of Victoria's hands in her own. "I can't really stay long today, as I have to attend a wedding. One of the Weasley boys is getting married to a French girl. But I suppose that she is a nice and decent girl despite being French. Fleur is her name." She chatted away. She had never been one for idle chat, but with the non responsive woman on the bed she had found that she just couldn't stop talking. She knew that she probably didn't hear a word, but it gave her some semblance of normalcy – even if it just was for a couple of hours a week.

"Well, I best get going or I will be late." She rose before bending down kissing Tory's forehead. "I will return for a visit again soon, Darling." She whispered before quickly exiting the room.

The wedding had been beautiful as had both the bride and groom. She knew that Harry also attended the wedding, and she had spotted him early on. She did not, however, reveal that she knew who he was. She grimaced at the thought of the dangers he had been sent out to meet, before getting to her feet to make the speech she had prepared.

Silence fell as she tapped her glass with her wand and everyone turned to look at her.

"Once a wise wizard told me that true love is hard to come by," she started in a surprisingly warm and tender voice. "And for a long time I have known how true that is. I have loved and lost," she didn't miss the surprised looks on people's faces. "And I hope with all that I am that the two of you will never experience that." She smiled at Bill and Fleur. "Let not the words go unsaid between you and treat every day you have together as special. I wish you a long and happy life together." She raised her glass to them with a smile.

The End


	6. Final chapter 2

The second ending written. Hope you will let me know which one you like the best if any of them. Thanks for reading.

**Chapter Five**

"_**For now?" She asked. "Will he be back?"**_

"_**I fear that he will, yes." Dumbledore nodded. "But for now all we can do is wait, wait and hope that I am wrong."**_

"_**But you are not." Minerva smiled wryly. "You hardly ever are."**_

And he had indeed been right and in the end it had led to his death. She turned her back to the window leaning against the sill. Albus was dead. Her closest friend and the only person who knew how much she had hurt and was still hurting was dead. Never in her life had she felt so alone, never had she been this uncertain about the future of the world as she knew it. They had had one last conversation before his death, and like so many times before in the last 11 years it had been about Harry.

"_We should help the boy, Albus." She told him. "We cannot let him handle it all alone."_

"_He is not alone." Dumbledore countered._

"_Yes, he does have Ronald Weasley and Hermoine Granger at his side, and they are both in their own way talented, but he could use the help of wizards and witches that are of age, that have been trained for years." She got up and started pacing. "He is just a boy for God's sake!"_

"_He is a boy who has faced dangers than most wizards years older than him." He looked at her more sharply than he had in years. "I have complete faith in Harry. And if I am right he, and he alone, is the one wizard who can finish this."_

"_And you are rarely wrong." She commented dryly. "But I still feel that it is too great a burden for him. He is barely of age."_

"_I didn't think you had it in you anymore, Minerva." Dumbledore looked at her with a small smile._

"_What?" She demanded._

"_To let anyone into your heart again," he said with no malice._

"_I…" She sat back down. "Neither did I." She looked at him with an even smaller smile. "But somehow those three dug their way in. I care for them and I will do what I can to not see them hurt, there have been enough losses."_

"_There has," he turned serious again. "And I'm sorry to tell you that there will be even more losses, before this is over. I wish something could be done to help it, but we both know that is impossible."_

"_Yes," she sighed. "We both know that."_

"_Do you still visit her?" He asked._

"_I do," she confirmed._

"_I have not seen her in years." He admitted_

"_She looks the same, only older. She has aged with grace." She smiled. "But I always knew that she would."_

_He smiled and nodded._

"_Will you promise to help Harry if he ever asks you?" He changed the subject._

"_I always have," was her honest answer._

"_Will you please promise me? If there is a time that I am not here to help him, I am sure that he will turn to you next."_

"_Nothing will happen to you Albus…" She started._

"_Minerva, please!" He had never raised his voice to her before and it startled her._

"_Yes, I promise to help Harry if he should ask for it." She promised. "I will help him even if he doesn't ask."_

"_Thank you, Minerva." He looked her in the eyes. "I have always known that I could trust you. I am grateful that you are my friend, even if it is much more than I deserve."_

"_Albus," she was brought to silence by the hand he held up._

She had not been allowed to tell him again that she did no longer blame him. But at least she had told him once and he had understood. She now that he had had much more trouble forgiving himself. Two nights after this conversation he had fallen from the tower, and she was now, once again, to fill his shoes. Yet, after allowing herself to remember everything, she was not nearly as nervous as she had thought. She had handled everything else in her life thus far and she would handle this as well to the best of her abilities. She would become the new Headmistress of Hogwarts.

She was surprised when there was yet another knock on the door.

"Enter," she called out after drying her eyes and straightening her robes.

"Professor McGonagall," Remus Lupin greeted her as he entered her chambers.

"Remus," she sat down gesturing for Lupin to do the same. "What can I do for you?" She asked.

"I don't really know," Remus sat down with a smile. "I think I just needed to talk to someone who…" He paused.

"Someone who doesn't know all about you," she said with a dry laugh.

"Well," he looked at her apologetically.

"It's been a hard day," she smiled at him. "But I have the time for you."

"Thank you," he fell silent, looking around her chambers in surprise. "I had never imagined…" He caught himself.

"Nor were you supposed to." She looked around as well. "I prefer my personal space to be personal." She smiled at him to show that she hadn't taken offence to his comment.

"Right," he noticed the picture of Victoria and Minerva and picked it up before she had a chance to stop him. "I hadn't thought about Professor Mercer for years." He said as he admired the picture. "She was a great teacher and a kind one."

"She was," Minerva nodded.

"I always thought…" He looked over at her with a smile. "Now, I guess I know."

"You didn't know before?" She asked in surprise. "I would have thought that she'd have told you."

"She?" He raised an eyebrow in question.

"Lily," she smiled remembering again.

"Lily knew?!?" He laughed. "Well, then your secret was safe."

"Yes, she…" She blushed slightly. "She walked in on us one day."

He smiled.

"You miss her." He stated.

"I love her." She looked him in the eyes. "And love makes it all worth it. The looks that people send your way, the snide remarks. It makes it all worth it. Dumbledore once told me that true love is hard to come by, and I know how right he was." She looked him in the eyes. "I lost my love, Remus, don't make that mistake. If you love her, marry her. Be happy with her."

"I…" He looked at the picture in his hands. "I thought I was talking to someone who didn't know all about me." He said looking back up at her.

"Well," she smiled. "I do have eyes." Her smile grew wider. "And I do think that Nymphadora is very determined to make you see sense."

"She certainly won't take no for an answer." He commented dryly.

"No," she looked at him sternly. "And that is something you should be very grateful for."

"You are right," He smiled. "And I am grateful."

"Good," she smiled as well.

"Thank you, Minerva." He got up and put down the picture. "I should…" He gestured towards the door.

"I think it's about time you did." She smiled, but didn't get up.

He smiled and walked to the door.

"Remus," He looked back. "Come back anytime you need." She looked over at him. "I too understand what it's like to be different. Not like you, I'm sure, but I do know." She glanced at the picture, now standing on the table again.

"Thank you, Minerva." He repeated with a smile. "Have a nice evening."

"Thank you and you too." She winked at him. "And good luck."

**Epilog**

**The next morning**

"Good morning, Professor McGonagall." The healer greeted her and looked, as always, pleased to see her.

"Good morning, Healer Raphael." McGonagall granted him a smile before entering Victoria's room.

The other witch was lying motionless in bed staring into space as always. She was still beautiful despite having aged 20 or so years.

"Hello, Dear." Minerva sat on the side of the bed and smoothed back the now white hair. "Have you missed me?" She asked tenderly. "I am sorry that I haven't been able to visit as frequently as usual, but the war is drawing closer and…" She looked in the empty eyes of her love. "We lost Albus, Tory. Albus is dead." She waited, as always in vain, for some sort of sign that she had understood. She sighed as there was no reaction. "Well, I suppose it is better that you don't understand." She smiled down at her love. "Remus stopped by my chambers last night. But now, don't you worry, he has his eyes on another woman. Nymphadora Tonks. Do you remember her? Was she at the school when you were there? No, I suppose she's too young for that." She shook her head. "Well, I'm sure that they will end up married." She smiled at the thought. "I wish we'd had the time to get married. You would have been a beautiful bride." She caressed Tory's cheek.

She had never been one for idle chat, but with the non responsive woman on the bed she had found that she just couldn't stop talking. She knew that she probably didn't hear a word, but it gave her some semblance of normalcy – even if it just was for a couple of hours a week.

"I miss you, Tory," she let the tears she's been holding back fall. She lay down next to her cuddling into her. "God, how I miss you."

The End


End file.
